if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
