knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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