Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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