I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
