Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I need water and some morals
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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