windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
