I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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