is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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