I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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