Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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