Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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