I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
