I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
