That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
