That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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