You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
