I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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