Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
