Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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