Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
