i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
