Whod you bang
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dicks are not precious.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
