...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
