we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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