i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
