yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
