worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
