The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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