Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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