i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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