Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
