honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
