I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
