There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
