i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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