Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
