I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Shame - the story of my life.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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