another moral hangover. fuck.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
