thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
