that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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