redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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