She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
