not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
