the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
