There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
