what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
