HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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