I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
