Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
