Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
