I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
