all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
