You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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