you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
